Když jsem ještě studovala anglistiku na vysoké škole, měla jsem za úkol napsat příběh o Červené Karkulce. Pojala jsem to po svém a napsala moderní verzi. Rozhodla jsem se, že se s tímto příběhem s vámi podělím, zároveň jsem zvýraznila fráze a slovní zásobu, která je z mého pohledu zajímavá. Let’s learn some words together, shall we?
Having a grandmother as kind-hearted as mine is such a blessing! I adore her. She cooks for me, plays with me and takes care of me. I remember the day (I was 6 or so) when I got a beautiful red hood from her. I instantly fell in love with it. The hood was hand-made by my granny. It was so cute! The colour was just perfect, and all its details blew my mind, honestly. I loved the hood so much therefore I did not take it off even if all adults were forcing me to do so. I was wearing the red hood in my bed or while I was playing with my friends during hot summer days. Thanks to my obsession with the red hood, people started calling me Little Red Riding Hood. I am actually called like this even now after so many years. I do not mind it though, it is quite cute, isn’t it? As you can see, I got this unique name thanks to my wonderful grandma and her gorgeous hood she made for me.
It might sound as a fairy tale to you, but I remember a particular experience shared with my granny. It was in summer, the summer was beautiful. One day my mum sent me to my beloved granny. I was supposed to take our basket filled with goodies for my granny and bring it to her since she was ill. We wanted to make her feel better. You won’t believe it, but on my way, I met a wolf. What’s more, he spoke to me. I do not understand why I was able to talk to him. Maybe, I was just high or had sunstroke, because now, as an adult, I am definitely not able to speak to animals, at least not in normal circumstances. However, the wolf seemed kind and he was quite chatty. He showed me some beautiful flowers growing wildly in the forest. I decided to pick some flowers for my granny to make her even happier, she loves all kinds of flowers. Picking them up took me so much time, plus, I nearly got lost.
I was so happy when I finally reached her house with my hands full of presents. When I came there, my grandmother was so weird. I mean, sooo weird. She did not speak, which was super suspicious since she is the most talkative person ever. The second thing I noticed was that she looked peculiar. I thought it was due to her sickness. My granny was in her bed fully covered, but I was able to see her face. I was staring at her. I remember seeing her huge ears, eyes and hands. The last thing I remember is noticing her enormous mouth. I got scared and asked her why she had such a big mouth, and she answered me in a husky voice, unlike her own one,: “All the better to eat you up with, my dear.”. That’s it. Then I remember being inside of her body. It was so sticky, stinky and hot. OMG, I was so sweaty. I could not breathe and, out of the blue, I touched another arm. I promise you it was not mine! I screamed but then I shut my mouth as I tasted the stomach acid. It tasted like vomit. So disgusting! Suddenly, I heard a sound and I saw a light. „ Is it heaven?“ I asked myself. I was actually excited. It was like in the stories all over the Internet describing dying and then you see the light and you meet your family, old friends as well as pets who are not alive anymore. I was ready to tell God I was a good girl and I should get the best place in heaven. Instead of God, a cold hand pulled me out. It was a gamekeeper. I was barely able to see him since my eyelashes were glued together from all the blood and stomach acid. Then my granny was pulled out too. I was shocked when I saw that the thing which apparently had eaten me was the wolf I had met in the forest. You know, if it happened today, I would post a picture of myself and the ripped wolf on my Instagram. I would have much more followers than I do have right now.
Nevertheless, after that day, I realised I had not obeyed my mum who told me not to talk to anyone and go straight to my granny. I did the opposite. Not having done so, this situation might have not happened at all. But wouldn’t it be a pity? Who has a story like this? I bet you don’t.
So, this is my story of a naive and stupid girl. I’ve experienced what it is like to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I believed that animals could talk. To be honest, last week I got so high with my friends that I spoke to a tree. So, you might get another story in the future. Fingers crossed!
Kind-hearted – hodný (člověk s dobrým srdcem)
Blessing – požehnání
Therefore – a proto
Force – nutit
Goodies – dobrůtky, mňamky
What’s more – a k tomu, a navíc
Be high – být zdrogovaný (většinou po vykouření trávy)
Sunstroke – úžeh
Circumstances – okolnosti
Chatty – ukecaný
Suspicious – podezřelý
Peculiar – podivný
Due to – kvůli
Stinky – smradlavý
Sweaty – upocený
Out of the blue – najednou/ z čista jasna
As well as – take, rovněž
Gamekeeper – hajný
Barely – sotva
Glued together – slepený
Nevertheless – nicméně